DiFFiCuLt TiMeS

These days have been so hard for all the family. The doctor told my mother that it’s useless to go under radiotherapy again because if the tumor had come back after only 8 months, it’s likely it will appear later for a second time. The other alternative was surgery. Drastic? Yes, but probably more effective.
My sister was with my mother when the oncologist explained the procedure and my mother seemed to understand. Well, she didn’t.
Some days after the appointment she went to see her other doctor, who explained again how the surgery was going to be, and it was only then that my mother realized what she was going to go through. The doctor was very tactful but he couldn’t convince my mother and now she refuses the treatment.
We are all trying to convince her, but no matter what we say, her answer is always the same….I would die right now if I could.
I guess she’s in denial. I hope she changes her mind and starts fighting against this f*cking thing.
She is visiting the doctor again tomorrow, let’s see what happens.
I love my mom so much…………..

I will be visiting you all as soon as I have some free time.
Thank you very much for your patience and your lovely comments.
You light up my life

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HeRe AgAiN

Returning after such a long time seems to be harder than I thought it would be. A lot of water has passed under the bridge. I’ve drifting through busy days, complicated relationships and mom’s illness…and somehow the flow brought me back here one more time. I guess that I needed some pampering.

Mom is not doing well and she has to face a whole week of radiotherapy again. She is so afraid, all of us are actually, but we try not to show it for her own good.

I won’t be allowed to visit her during her treatment because for safety reasons only people older than 45 can enter the room. My sister will be with her…I wish I could too.

Dad has been aging very fast. He wants to be strong for mum, but they’ve been together for more than 50 years and seeing my mother sick is overwhelming him too much.

On a much lighter note, remember the story of my boyfriend from my youth? He has come many times from Argentina and soon I will visit him too. I don’t know… it will take time until we decide what to do with our lives, meanwhile I think it’s a good idea to seize the day and let time do the work. As you can see, my heart has chosen the third flame and I can do nothing but follow his commands beyond the outcomes it may bring.

Dear friends I haven’t deserted you. You are always on my mind and in my heart and you will always be there. I love you so so so much.

When I was a very little child my mother taught me to pray to my guardian angel. I wonder if he or she is still around. Just in case I’ll say the prayer now for my mom, for you all and for myself.

XOXOXOXO

Ani

Ángel de la guarda,

dulce compañía

no me desampares

ni de noche ni de día.

Las horas que pasan,

las horas del día

si tu estas conmigo

serán de alegría.

No sueltes mi mano,

sé en todo mi guía,

sin ti soy chiquito

y me perdería.

Ángel de la guarda,

dulce compañía

no me desampares

ni de noche ni de día.

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WhIsPeRs By ThE FiRePlAcE

Hello my friends! Long time no see! Well, I’m doing fine, but my PC isn’t LOL! Thanks to a good friend I was able to publish this post so that you know I’m still alive.
I wrote this story below and I uploaded it as an image…why? There’s someone I know who doesn’t know English and he won’t be able to translate it easily this way he he he.
Remember I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. I’ll be back as soon as my soulmate, I mean, my pc gets over this trance.
Please, click on the image to read…..yes, now I hear voices 🙂

Have a nice weekend!!!!!!!!!!

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WhAt aN ArTiSt!

Hi everybody!! Today I won’t be posting anything too personal; actually this post is not about me at all. As you may know, I’m an EFL teacher, and for that reason, I have the chance to meet a lot of wonderful people. Sadly, it’s not always possible for me to know what my students do, are or dream when they go home.
This post is about Lucia a.k.a LuMaGa. She told me at the beginning of the year that she loved drawing, so I said “Great! You will be an excellent artist one day” (she is so young)
Yesterday in class, we talked again about her drawings and I told her I would love to see some of them. Today she sent me an email with a link to her page. What!!!???? “You will be an excellent artist one day???? This girl is already an AMAZING ARTIST and she in only 18!!!
Please, visit her page to see how gifted she is. I adored all her drawings; I’m sorry, I should have said “pieces of art”

Click on the drawing to visit her page:

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WaTcH OuT ThE GeNtLe WiNd

(click on the picture to enlarge)

By the way,Manuel started school in the morning and he is still having problems to get up early because he doesn’t want to go to bed or sleep when he has to. I think I’ll learn this song, because the ones I know are not working!!
I love this video, it’s so cute…..enjoy!

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(updated) cLoSiNg CiRcLeS

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” – The Zahir

I don’t know exactly why I chose that quote to start my post today. Maybe it’s my need of doing what I have to do, but without knowing how, or worst, knowing, but not daring.
We have talked before about walking through new paths and opening awaiting gates….but, what about closing the ones we left behind?
I’ve learned so far that if those doors remain opened, the echoes of what went before follow us just some steps away, they puff in our neck…..and one day, they hunt us.

My phone rang and I heard “I’m 10 km away and 22 years later”. I left the house and went walking to the route….I was about to see my past coming back.
I stood at the bus stop, legs shaking, heart in the neck, and hands rubbing together…”what am I going to say!!”
A car stopped, the window went down and a man says “Excuse me, have you seen a chubby girl around here?” I started laughing, my legs got firm again and I said, “Yes, I think she was waiting for a thin guy with curly hair”. He opened the door, got off the car and we hugged very tight for a long while.
It was a sunny afternoon and we went to the beach, we sat on the sand facing the ocean and watching seagulls. We talked, talked and talked for hours; I think we pretty much covered these 22 years. There was plenty of laughter and stories….and then a long silence preceding the question “Why did we drift apart?” We couldn’t find an answer because the last thing I remember is that we loved each other a lot…….life is life.
Through the years I’ve thought many times about him, every Christmas time, every presidential election, when people return en masse to their home town, I’ve asked if someone had seen him, but I never got a positive answer.
He asked about me too, I never knew it until today.
I’ve met many people in my life, and I’ve experienced all kind of deep feelings, however, he was the only one who left this lasting curiosity inside me. I needed to know about him. I’m sure now; I needed to close the circle.
It was 5 o’clock…we stood up, and took a walk along the shore; he had to be at the airport at 7, time was against us and there was so much to say…odd as it may sound, we walked in silence. We stopped walking and an anticipating look passed our faces….we hugged again and for a second, all those years seemed to vanish. We were the same kids from the past.

If we are going to see each other again? Probably. If something will happen? I guess not. He has his life there; I have mine here, and long distance relationships are not meant to be. That I know. But I also know that this encounter was good for both of us, we owed each other a conversation, and we owed each other closing the circle.

He called me from Buenos Aires some minutes ago, he was driving his car and thinking that maybe, just maybe his feelings are still alive….I told him that maybe I felt the same, just maybe.
He turned the music on and dedicated this song to me….
and I dedicated this one for him…. then we hung up.

Well, that’s all for today. I thought you would like to know…..
I’m still too busy in my job, but I’ll come back soon.

Oh! By the way, he doesn’t look like the picture I posted before. LOL

I found this and I though it would be nice to share it with you all

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OMG!!! (Tuesday update: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH!!!!)

When I was youngER, LOL, I met this boy. He was my boyfriend for some months when I was 17. He used to live in Buenos Aires; he still lives there actually, so we would see each other every other month. With the time, of course we drifted apart and I never saw him again. I’ve always had good memories about our time together, though.
Ana Claudia, who is my cousin, works in the migration office, and guess what? She saw him some days ago when he was traveling to Uruguay for business. In fact, she has seen him many times because he comes to Montevideo and Punta del Este very often, but this time was different because, out of nothing, SHE GAVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER!!!!! Then she called me laughing and said: “You won’t believe what I did, please don’t kill me!!”
I said “&%/$#” OMG!! What if he thinks I told her to do so? What if he thinks I’m desperate and lonely? (Well, I am, LOL, but he doesn’t have to know!!!)
After some minutes I calmed down and thought to myself, “he won’t call anyway” and I forgot about the whole thing (but I do remember to kill Ana Claudia next time I visit her he he he)
Well, it was Saturday night, around midnight when my phone rang; I looked at the screen to see the number and it said “private number”, which is what I get when someone form abroad calls me…..IT WAS HIM!!!!
I gave him a very shy HI and he told me…”HI? What do you mean by HI? No no, you have to say “heyyyyyyy, how is my first love doing!!” or “ WoW, this is the best surprise I ever had!!”
I started laughing, and he laughed with me, the rest of the conversation went smoothly, as if we had spoken just a few days before……but 22 years have passed since our last conversation.
He’s coming to my country again on April 28th and he wants to see me… and I’d love to see him, too. Wait!!!!!!!!! Have I just said 22 years??? Oh Nooooooo, where is my make up? My push-ups, my “keepeverythinginplace panties” my snail dribble cream!!! (kidding about THIS one LOL)
I hope he has gone bald, or lost his teeth, please something!!!
Well, you know me I’M JOKING. Those 22 years have passed for both of us, so who cares? I’m more interested in knowing about how he is doing in life and many other things related to the man he is and not the way he looks now. BUT, just but, if he looks like this: I wouldn’t mind he he he.
Well, that’s all folks. I have to cook something and prepare my classes for this afternoon.
See Ya!!
Xoxoxoxoxox

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH!!!!

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