“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” – The Zahir
I don’t know exactly why I chose that quote to start my post today. Maybe it’s my need of doing what I have to do, but without knowing how, or worst, knowing, but not daring.
We have talked before about walking through new paths and opening awaiting gates….but, what about closing the ones we left behind?
I’ve learned so far that if those doors remain opened, the echoes of what went before follow us just some steps away, they puff in our neck…..and one day, they hunt us.
My phone rang and I heard “I’m 10 km away and 22 years later”. I left the house and went walking to the route….I was about to see my past coming back.
I stood at the bus stop, legs shaking, heart in the neck, and hands rubbing together…”what am I going to say!!”
A car stopped, the window went down and a man says “Excuse me, have you seen a chubby girl around here?” I started laughing, my legs got firm again and I said, “Yes, I think she was waiting for a thin guy with curly hair”. He opened the door, got off the car and we hugged very tight for a long while.
It was a sunny afternoon and we went to the beach, we sat on the sand facing the ocean and watching seagulls. We talked, talked and talked for hours; I think we pretty much covered these 22 years. There was plenty of laughter and stories….and then a long silence preceding the question “Why did we drift apart?” We couldn’t find an answer because the last thing I remember is that we loved each other a lot…….life is life.
Through the years I’ve thought many times about him, every Christmas time, every presidential election, when people return en masse to their home town, I’ve asked if someone had seen him, but I never got a positive answer.
He asked about me too, I never knew it until today.
I’ve met many people in my life, and I’ve experienced all kind of deep feelings, however, he was the only one who left this lasting curiosity inside me. I needed to know about him. I’m sure now; I needed to close the circle.
It was 5 o’clock…we stood up, and took a walk along the shore; he had to be at the airport at 7, time was against us and there was so much to say…odd as it may sound, we walked in silence. We stopped walking and an anticipating look passed our faces….we hugged again and for a second, all those years seemed to vanish. We were the same kids from the past.
If we are going to see each other again? Probably. If something will happen? I guess not. He has his life there; I have mine here, and long distance relationships are not meant to be. That I know. But I also know that this encounter was good for both of us, we owed each other a conversation, and we owed each other closing the circle.
He called me from Buenos Aires some minutes ago, he was driving his car and thinking that maybe, just maybe his feelings are still alive….I told him that maybe I felt the same, just maybe.
He turned the music on and dedicated this song to me….
and I dedicated this one for him…. then we hung up.
Well, that’s all for today. I thought you would like to know…..
I’m still too busy in my job, but I’ll come back soon.
Oh! By the way, he doesn’t look like the picture I posted before. LOL
I found this and I though it would be nice to share it with you all