ThE CoNtEnDeR

I’m sure you will recognize this beautiful melody from the reality show “The contender”. I love the two versions!

the_contender_guit…
the_contender_anta…

Well, yes, I do like boxing; however, my post is not related to physical fighting but to my little everyday struggling to be someone better, to accept myself just the way I am, to keep on going no matter what…..NO MATTER WHAT.
I’ve fallen so many times into the darkness that I have a tendency to ignore my ability to crawl back to the brightness. However, the truth is that I do survive after all. Once and again I come back to claim for my most treasured belongings, my life, my dreams, my hopes, my integrity, my smiles.
Once and again I fill myself with a renewed energy that comes from many people around me who never hesitate on giving me a hand, a word, a hug……a view to a new beginning.
Why does this melody brings so many thoughts to me? I see myself winning; getting through bad times, holding tightly the best trophy someone may deserve….another chance to be happy.
The music? Just the background sound of my life 🙂
Enjoy with me

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Life begins at 40 and at 5

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 

Well, I finally got there. I’m 40!! I was really scared of crossing the line, but what the heck! I woke up today being the same personI was yesterday..looking good (pardon my arrogance), feeling good and acting as a grown up child.
I had the best present ever!! My kids were by my side, I got many phone calls and cards and the best of all, my mom was here….what else can I ask for?

Thanks God for being always there. I love this picture!!

Manu had his birthday, too!!! It was on November 12th but we celebrated it last Saturday.




And that’s all folks!
I wish you the best xoxoxox

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No Voy a Mentirte

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A PhOnE CaLL, A SoNg AnD Me

It’s been raining a lot lately. However, the sun finally showed up today and I’m struggling to switch my moody state to a more bearable one.
It gets really difficult to sit in front of this keyboard and try to put my ideas in order…..it’s been a long time since I was here the last time!!

My mom called me the other day and that was such a gift for me. Well, you may be wondering why it was so important. Her gift was a simple word….she said “Hello”.
It was her first phone call after the surgery!!! I must confess I dropped some tears of joy because I’m so proud of my mother.
We chatted for a while and I could understand almost all she said. Her tongue is still kind of numb and she has to learn how to pronounce certain letters such as L, N or R but she can speak very well considering all she had to go through.

Now, about me….. I’ve been working LONG LONG hours recently and honestly being in front of my pc was one of the privileges I had to give up for a while…..I repeat “for a while”. Soon everything will go back to normal and you will get to see more of me here again.
What can I tell you? Oh yes!! I gained soooooooooo much weight! Since I was out most of the day, my meals were nothing but sandwiches, hot dogs, and all sort of fattening things. Now I’m paying the consequences, sniff. My pants don’t fit anymore and I have to unbutton them if I want to sit comfortably. I comfort myself by thinking that I still have 2 months before summer. I have two options: either I lose this entire extra load or I’ll be using one of my”secret strategies” at the beach this year again (I hope with better results, though)

Now I will tell you about Felix….. He’s a good friend of mine. He’s a “Boricua” living in Switzerland who I met some years ago in a chat room of Puerto Rico. Some days ago he gave me this gift I really want to share with you all. He says he got inspired after one of our conversations and I only have words of gratitude after reading such beautiful words. Thanks FELIX!!!

I’ve been told that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Why am I here? This darkness… this silence…

time has finally stood still.

And my mind seeks you.

I wish to continue my journey,

but when I look back,

I see the light that I left behind.

I remember what has been,

your touch, your smell in my hands…


>>>I smell with my lips

I see with my hands

I touch with my mind

and I kiss with my breath<<<<


I seek things… I seek things that are to be found,

and at the same time will always remain a mystery.

Do you seek what I seek?

The mysteries of your eyes

I will seek but never understand.


>>>I smell with my lips

I see with my hands

I touch with my mind

and I kiss with my breath<<<<


How do you love a lifetime?

is this the time to continue my journey?

Can one love for such a long time?

Being in a place where time stands still comforts me.

I wish to stay here so that I can continue to love you.

“Time heals all wounds”, they say…

I do not wish to be healed,

I wish to continue my suffering.


>>>I smell with my lips

I see with my hands

I touch with my mind

and I kiss with my breath<<<<


Will I ever smell you with my lips?

I do not know…

Will I ever see you with my hands?

I do not know…

In the distance, I will kiss you with my breath,

feel your skin and touch your soul

and even while being in this darkness,

I will see the light in your eyes!

Felix

Isn’t he sweet?
See you soon my friends. I love you with all my heart.

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GoOd NeWs

Dear friends, here I am with some good news!!

Last Monday my mother finally underwent surgery after so many days of struggling with her own fears, and our unrelenting efforts to make her change her mind.
She keeps on saying she did it for us and we keep on thinking Thanks God.
The doctor says she has to be positive and that we have to be strong to help her now when she needs us the most. Her recovery will take a long time, but now, after the surgery, time is something we can count on and we will be there by her side.
She lost half of her tongue; that means she won’t be able to pronounce some sounds for a while, maybe forever, but she will still be able to speak pretty well after speech therapy.

I have thought a lot about all your good wishes, about the prayer chains that some people I love set in motion, but above all I’ve been thinking of my dad, who secretly built a shrine in his tool shed and went every day to say a prayer for the love of her life. I can’t help feeling guilty because we were so into my mother’s problem that we forgot all about dad’s suffering. He must have felt so lonely and scared….
After the surgery, when mom was awake back in the room, she asked dad:” Do I look too horrible? And dad said “you look as beautiful as you did when I saw you for the first time”….and she does.

Well, that’s all about my mother for now, but I still have some other things I’d love to share with you.
I’m substituting for another teacher in a private institute so nowadays and for a whole month I’m working more than 12 hours per day! Imagine how I look when I get home at night….completely wrecked. However, this is a great experience for me and at the same time I’m opening a new door and increasing my salary (at least for this month) which is sooooooo good!!

Oh! I almost forget! I went to Buenos Aires last week to visit my friend. Remember? It was my first time there and my first time on a ship. I loved every single second of the trip. I got to Bs As on Saturday afternoon and he was waiting for me with a broad smile. He took me for a long ride around the city and then we had dinner in a beautiful restaurant. We talked for hours and hours……and hours! We had such a great time together. On Sunday we did pretty much the same, but in the afternoon we had to say goodbye and that hurt a lot. We will survive, though. This is a very thorny relationship, full of welcomings and farewells, but it worth living it while it lasts.

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SoMe DaYs I sMiLe

My mother has changed her mind!!!!!!!!!! She will finally go under surgery soon, probably in two weeks. I feel so relieved.
I know it’s going to be difficult because it’s not a simple surgery, but that’s another story that our family will be ready to deal with when the moment comes. Together.

I was invited to a party on Saturday and I thought it would be good to go out and relax a little bit after so many days of preocupation. I put on some make up, I dressed up and I called a taxi. I was all glamour!
Well, I think I danced a little too much and now my left hip hurts and I can barely walk!! (Mariana should you come here, relax I’m still going to work!)

Today my kids came from their father’s house and we play with the web cam, making faces and all kind of silly things. It was fun, what can I say? You know me, I’m a child of 40!

Well, I wanted to share this with you because I know you are praying and sending good wishes for my mom and us. Thank you my friends 🙂

I uploaded these two pictures from yesterday before leaving and today with my kids.

Please follow the instructions below:

Here you have to say: WoW what a gorgeous young lady ready to damage her hip!! Ouch!

Here you have to say: Awwwwwwwwww how sweet!!! (where did the young lady go?)
Aren’t my babies cute? (Here you have to say: yesssssssssssssss)

And what about me? don’t you think I look like their older sister? (Here please don’t answerrrrrrr LOL)

I’m going to bed, it’s cold and I’m sooooooooo tired!!

Love and hugs to all

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