I spent alone New Year’s Eve. I thought it was gonna be easier, but it wasn’t….it wasn’t easy at all. I checked my watch once and again waiting for midnight….minutes seemed to run too slow and my loneliness seemed to grow too fast.
I went to my roof right before 12 and sat down in my favourite chair to watch the sky. It was a starry night and the moon was brighter than ever or so it seemed.
At 12 the sky was covered by beautiful fireworks, and from my particular viewpoint it was really overwhelming. I grabbed my glass, and I made a toast in the air to many many things….. And I cried for a while, it was like washing my soul to start clean this New Year….I felt my tears that way, but I would have chosen not to cry….
2007 is the year of my 40 and I have some months to get used to the idea…I suffered when I turned 30, imagine now!!! I have so many dreams to fight for, yet too many daydreams I have to give up… (one of them I won’t ever let go, that’s what keeps me alive day after day)
I made in silence my New Year’s resolutions….I know I will forget most of them in the short run, but meanwhile it feels good to have a plan.
I didn’t take my blog tour today, maybe tomorrow if I feel more optimistic….you know, I’m getting better little by little, but I still have low days, today way too low I’ll say.
My kids came back home this afternoon and the house is active again, good thing!! I won’t have time for my blues….
Tomorrow I’ll wake up and do something Auds told me a month ago …….Take a good look in the mirror and say hello to that wonderful person reflected there………..OFTEN!!!Then give her a smile- she deserves it…..
I will, that I can promise.