KeePiNg SeCrEtS

Well it’s been a long time since my last post. I feel a little rusty…but let me start by saying that I missed you all.
Thanks for those who worried about me, and thanks for those who wrote me a welcome back message.
Too many things happened during my time offline, the most important was my mom’s illness and of course I’m still in shock for many reasons…..
You see, I’m the youngest child of the family and though I’m 39, my parents still protect me from worries and pains as if I were a little girl. So, it wasn’t until the day before my mom’s hospitalization that I was told the truth, and that because my sister insisted I should know what was going on….and my mother finally called me.
In one second I found out she had had, months ago, a tumour removed from her tongue and that now she had to be hospitalized to get a 4-day caesium session to ensure the good results of the treatment.
My parents came to visit me and my kids in November, they stayed some days, which is strange since my dad hates being away from his house more than one day…but it was my son and my own birthday, so I wasn’t suspicious…..just happy to have them around. The thing is that they left on Tuesday ‘cause they went to the doctor in Montevideo and I never knew that until the face-the-truth call.
Hard to explain my feelings now, I’m scared, I’m angry and I’m restless, scared because I don’t want my mom to suffer, angry because they keep hiding things from me, and restless because every time I call, or they do, they say everything is fine and now I can’t believe that anymore.
I wish my parents knew I’m a grown up now……at least that would give me the chance of being there when they need me, because I know they do….and my sister wouldn’t have to carry alone with all the responsibility plus the burden of keeping the secrets.
I’m going home for Christmas…until then I guess I will have to believe what they tell me on the phone.
Time to go… too much work to do today.

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21 Comments

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21 responses to “KeePiNg SeCrEtS

  1. Mile Stones

    HeeeeYY! I suspect that I won’t be able to write much now, as I’m expecting a phone call from New Zealand any minute now.
    So I’m just going to start by saying that your family have been making a really terrible mistake, and you know it. It serves no good and can even make things worse to hide the truth of such events in a family from any of its members, particularly when you are an adult.
    The thruth hurts much more when it comes like that, as a shock.

    But I am really glad to have you around again, querida Anita!
    Got to work now & sem abrigos to think about. xxx

  2. Mile Stones

    HeeeeYY! I suspect that I won’t be able to write much now, as I’m expecting a phone call from New Zealand any minute now.
    So I’m just going to start by saying that your family have been making a really terrible mistake, and you know it. It serves no good and can even make things worse to hide the truth of such events in a family from any of its members, particularly when you are an adult.
    The thruth hurts much more when it comes like that, as a shock.

    But I am really glad to have you around again, querida Anita!
    Got to work now & sem abrigos to think about. xxx

  3. Mile Stones

    i must be tired, i wrote you another comment and deleted it by mistake!
    It said that one of my friends in Lisbon just told me that he was so touched by your comment to me this week, but that he didn’t know what to write to you!….People, really, what can we do with them? 🙂
    Now, I am on a short journey looking for Spanish-speakers to come visit my blog for the newest entry, una cooperación con mi amiga Mar en Barcelona. That means you, Anita! Please?
    Muy buenos noches, fique
    calminha!

  4. Mile Stones

    i must be tired, i wrote you another comment and deleted it by mistake!
    It said that one of my friends in Lisbon just told me that he was so touched by your comment to me this week, but that he didn’t know what to write to you!….People, really, what can we do with them? 🙂
    Now, I am on a short journey looking for Spanish-speakers to come visit my blog for the newest entry, una cooperación con mi amiga Mar en Barcelona. That means you, Anita! Please?
    Muy buenos noches, fique
    calminha!

  5. Audrey

    Analia so sorry to hear about your mother, hopefully she will make a speedy recovery.

    This has obviously been a very painful situation for you,so many emotions to deal with….be gentle with yourself

    I can understand how your feeling and have to confess that I put one of my daughters in a similar position…she was not living near at the time and I saw no need to worry her…but with the benefit of hindsight and hearing what she had to say about feeling excluded and unimportant I came to see that the worry was nothing compared to her ability to deal with worry… and I had grown used to protecting and processing things out on my own….Sometimes Mothers have to grow with their children,and life does not give us a chance to practice such difficult situations before they happen… perhaps this helps, I hope so…Enjoy your Christmas with your family Analia and hopefully you will be heard and understood for the grown, strong, loving adult you are.

  6. Audrey

    Analia so sorry to hear about your mother, hopefully she will make a speedy recovery.

    This has obviously been a very painful situation for you,so many emotions to deal with….be gentle with yourself

    I can understand how your feeling and have to confess that I put one of my daughters in a similar position…she was not living near at the time and I saw no need to worry her…but with the benefit of hindsight and hearing what she had to say about feeling excluded and unimportant I came to see that the worry was nothing compared to her ability to deal with worry… and I had grown used to protecting and processing things out on my own….Sometimes Mothers have to grow with their children,and life does not give us a chance to practice such difficult situations before they happen… perhaps this helps, I hope so…Enjoy your Christmas with your family Analia and hopefully you will be heard and understood for the grown, strong, loving adult you are.

  7. Analia

    Oh Mile, tell your friend that I would be pleased to read anything he want to say!!! People, really, what can we do with them? :-)…or without them. Kisses

  8. Analia

    Oh Mile, tell your friend that I would be pleased to read anything he want to say!!! People, really, what can we do with them? :-)…or without them. Kisses

  9. RUTH

    So good to have you back online. I am so sorry to hear about your mother but hopefully she will recover well. I do understand so well though your parents need to PROTECT you. No matter how old they become your children will always be “your children” and it is only natural that as a parent you try to protect them from the harshness of life. Try not to take it as a “WHY WON’T THEY LET ME GROW UP” message; think of it more as a “WE LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND WANT TO PROTECT YOU” message. Also as our children grow up and start to take responsibility for themselves it make we (the parents) feel OLD and maybe a little “unneeded” any more. As our children move on in their lives we worry to see them facing the trials and tribulations in life that we have already gone through…and want so much for their lives to be less harsh. I hope your parents will realise that there are things you do NEED to know and share with them but PLEASE do not loose your trust in them. One day I am sure you will look back and realise that you are doing the same thing with your boys (who will then be men)………they will always be your “babies” no matter how well you have taught them to face the harshness of the world……you will still want to protect them “forever”.
    Love and hugs
    Ruth
    xx

  10. RUTHhttp://ruthjen.blogspot.com/

    So good to have you back online. I am so sorry to hear about your mother but hopefully she will recover well. I do understand so well though your parents need to PROTECT you. No matter how old they become your children will always be “your children” and it is only natural that as a parent you try to protect them from the harshness of life. Try not to take it as a “WHY WON’T THEY LET ME GROW UP” message; think of it more as a “WE LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND WANT TO PROTECT YOU” message. Also as our children grow up and start to take responsibility for themselves it make we (the parents) feel OLD and maybe a little “unneeded” any more. As our children move on in their lives we worry to see them facing the trials and tribulations in life that we have already gone through…and want so much for their lives to be less harsh. I hope your parents will realise that there are things you do NEED to know and share with them but PLEASE do not loose your trust in them. One day I am sure you will look back and realise that you are doing the same thing with your boys (who will then be men)………they will always be your “babies” no matter how well you have taught them to face the harshness of the world……you will still want to protect them “forever”.
    Love and hugs
    Ruth
    xx

  11. RUTH

    So good to have you back online. I am so sorry to hear about your mother but hopefully she will recover well. I do understand so well though your parents need to PROTECT you. No matter how old they become your children will always be “your children” and it is only natural that as a parent you try to protect them from the harshness of life. Try not to take it as a “WHY WON’T THEY LET ME GROW UP” message; think of it more as a “WE LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND WANT TO PROTECT YOU” message. Also as our children grow up and start to take responsibility for themselves it make we (the parents) feel OLD and maybe a little “unneeded” any more. As our children move on in their lives we worry to see them facing the trials and tribulations in life that we have already gone through…and want so much for their lives to be less harsh. I hope your parents will realise that there are things you do NEED to know and share with them but PLEASE do not loose your trust in them. One day I am sure you will look back and realise that you are doing the same thing with your boys (who will then be men)………they will always be your “babies” no matter how well you have taught them to face the harshness of the world……you will still want to protect them “forever”.
    Love and hugs
    Ruth
    xx

  12. Analia

    Oh Ruth, your words made me see things from the other side, not from the daughter side, but from the mother one, and you are right. I guess I will do nothing but the same with my kids…
    However, is not that I don’t trust my parents anymore, it’s that I’m afraid of missing important moments, difficult moments by their side. Every time I’m sick, every time I need them, every time something great happens to me, I run to the phone to call them, and they are always there for me. I wish I could be there for them too…I need to be there, I love them so much.
    Kisses

  13. Analia

    Oh Ruth, your words made me see things from the other side, not from the daughter side, but from the mother one, and you are right. I guess I will do nothing but the same with my kids…
    However, is not that I don’t trust my parents anymore, it’s that I’m afraid of missing important moments, difficult moments by their side. Every time I’m sick, every time I need them, every time something great happens to me, I run to the phone to call them, and they are always there for me. I wish I could be there for them too…I need to be there, I love them so much.
    Kisses

  14. RUTH

    I so wish I could give you a big hug! Maybe you will be able to find a way to explain to your parents that because they have brought you up to be such a fine, caring, loving and giving woman and that you desire so much to be a part of all their good times AND all their bad times; so that you can give them back a little of what they have given you.
    Rx
    (((((Analia)))))this is as near as I can get to a hug; it’s a cyberhug!

  15. RUTHhttp://ruthjen.blogspot.com/

    I so wish I could give you a big hug! Maybe you will be able to find a way to explain to your parents that because they have brought you up to be such a fine, caring, loving and giving woman and that you desire so much to be a part of all their good times AND all their bad times; so that you can give them back a little of what they have given you.
    Rx
    (((((Analia)))))this is as near as I can get to a hug; it’s a cyberhug!

  16. RUTH

    I so wish I could give you a big hug! Maybe you will be able to find a way to explain to your parents that because they have brought you up to be such a fine, caring, loving and giving woman and that you desire so much to be a part of all their good times AND all their bad times; so that you can give them back a little of what they have given you.
    Rx
    (((((Analia)))))this is as near as I can get to a hug; it’s a cyberhug!

  17. Stephen Bess

    Hello Analia! Happy belated birthday and I hope that this holiday season will be a beautiful one for you and your family. I also hope that your parents will be more honest with you in the new year about their health and needs. Many blessings to you. 🙂 Peace~

  18. Stephen Bess

    Hello Analia! Happy belated birthday and I hope that this holiday season will be a beautiful one for you and your family. I also hope that your parents will be more honest with you in the new year about their health and needs. Many blessings to you. 🙂 Peace~

  19. Icarus

    Ruth’s cyberhug is the best thing I have seen and learned today! Isn’t she amazing? As for my friend, Carlos, I think he’s too busy for anything just now, but I will pass it on.

  20. Icarushttp://theflamesofeden.blogspot.com

    Ruth’s cyberhug is the best thing I have seen and learned today! Isn’t she amazing? As for my friend, Carlos, I think he’s too busy for anything just now, but I will pass it on.

  21. Icarus

    Ruth’s cyberhug is the best thing I have seen and learned today! Isn’t she amazing? As for my friend, Carlos, I think he’s too busy for anything just now, but I will pass it on.

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